Ok, so what do you say about this story starting?

It's actually pretty interesting. You have to watch story's like this day and age, because it's such a problem. People want an escape more then anything else. Add some different elements to this story, (such as a different time period, supernatural beings, or an unusal tragedy that completely changes the entire coarse of this book) You do have a talent, and I think you got a good story coming along.